(Book Review) What I Learned From “WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES”: Book By Sherry Argov

When I first heard about this book, I was in my 20’s. I can’t remember clearly, but I think I knew it from someone’s review on social media. The review’s said, it is a manual guidebook for an “I’m too nice” young adult. I’m interested but hella scared to buy it. I mean, look at the tittle, it is so provocative. But, here i am, couple of years later, holding that book in my hand and wondering, “why didn’t I read the book back then?”

The author made an important statement at the first chapter of the page, before we start reading the book. “An important distinction should be made between the pejorative way the word is usually used, and the way it used in this book.” “The Bitch” in this book referring to empowered woman who derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker, doesn’t give up her life, know what she wants but won’t compromise herself to get it, flowery on the outside but steel on the inside, doesn’t live someone else’s standards, has the ability to remain cool under pressure and woman with presence of mind knows when to pull back or in short word — A STRONG WOMAN.

Basically, this book’s telling you how to get men desires you, by taking care of your self. Oh god, i’ve got goosebumps when I wrote that haha. I mean, she wants us -woman- to understand that we are strong enough to stand up for ourself, and by doin that, men will chase you. Because no man wants a “needy” woman, they want something called “mental challenge”.

“Woman who sustains a man’s interest is not the one who feels confident because of a particular miniskirt or a black dress. A bitch doesn’t rely on this things to feel good about herself, she relies on who she is as a woman.”

She also mentioned about what men wants: a dreamgirl. Yes I know, it’s kinda tacky haha. But here’s the logical point that she wrote in this book. It started when he was a kid, when he received toy he didn’t even ask for, he play with it for a whole 5 minutes. The toy he cherished is the one he bought with a two months allowance. It’s the one toy he will remember because he had to earn it. So, we need to be worth to be earned!

The book describes the characteristic of a Dream Girl (not a Doormat) :

1.She maintains her independence

Doesn’t matter if she is a waitress or the CEO, she earns an honest living. She has honor and doesn’t standing with her hand out. She doesn’t loose her friends, give up her career or her hobbies. She keeps her edge and has enormous self-respect.

2.She treats her body like a finely tune machine

She maintain her appearance and health. She do it for herself. Unlike the “doormat” who wants to get attention with an item of clothing or certain look. They only tend to obsess over someone else’s approval and disapproval. This woman never assume she’s not attractive enough, because she knows, she can make herself look ugly in front of a man if she’s very insecure.

3.She doesn’t overcompensate, especially to people she barely knew

She’s not someone who gives blindly because she wants so much for her attention to be reciprocated. A dreamgirl won’t kill herself to impress anyone and selective about her availability.

4.She placed a high value on herself

When she was given compliments, she said thank you. She doesn’t talk out of it, and talk about her insecurities instead. She doesn’t ask what her ex looked like and doesn’t compete with other woman. She keeps communication from getting messy, and avoid communicating when upset.

So the question is, are you a dream girl? haha Well, after reading her book, I agree (almost) with what she said. I mean, life is not revolving around men 100%. You have friends, family, hobbies, career and the most importantly you have yourself to be taken care of.

However, I read that an american study shows that many men do not want to spend their life in a competitive relationship. Therefore, you can say that it is a rational and not an emotional decision when men choose not to go for a “strong” woman. Men immediately lose their interest when they hear about her job. In other words, most men find strong women attractive but do not see them as a potential partner! Ouch!

Strong and well-educated woman described in society (or movies) as someone mean, harsh, disrespect, look down to someone who’s not equally success with them, or we can say they’re scary! Most of the time they will “marry down” or not reach her potential in order to men to love them.

I’m not sure about that kind of statement above. But, the book said that, A Bitch is someone’s polite-but clear, not someone who speaks in harsh tone of voice. She communicates directly, so men will be easier to deal with her. The bitch knows what she likes and has an easier time expressing it directly. As a result, she usually gets what she wants. So rather than evaluating negative statement-which might not true-, We better prefer doing something positive that will benefit ourself and people’s around us.

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